Oh man... so much has happened in the past week. Just amazing. So where did I leave off? oh yes, we agreed to meet up with my dad on Friday night for dinner.
We sat down and we talked and ate and laughed. Very fun. After we left the restaurant we headed over to see his mom. I think she felt a little... whats the word... She seemed to be guarded with her emotions? She was very very nice but I'm sure she had to feel awkward and nervous. But she still gave me a hug. We talked a little bit and then moved into the dining room... she had six photo albums on the table. SIX! She was prepared show to the granddaughter she had yet to meet six photo albums. That is just amazing right there. And more proof that this woman interested in genealogy is related to me. I took photos of photos and notes. There was something else that was cool. Apparently my aunt made a family tree poster in college. Helloooo gold mine! Notes can get a little confusing so to have a visual tree... Just amazing. And I asked if I could take a picture of him and his mom. They agreed. I was to nervous/awkward to ask to be in a picture with either/both of them. Next time.
We didn't leave until around 11:30 at night. She hugged me again and stayed inside while the three of us went outside. We talked for a little bit. He asked what we were doing the rest of the weekend and I said we weren't sure... we were leaving Sunday morning and still weren't telling my grandparents at that point. But I said I'd let him know.
Then he said I have to get something out of the truck. I said ok and kept talking to mom. He came back with a box and said I'd like to give you something. I opened it and inside was this beautiful necklace. Two intertwined tear drop shapes, one silver and one gold. With a diamond in the middle. Gorgeous. He gave me a really big hug that lasted a long time. I could tell he was getting emotional. Then mom and I got into the car and started to drive away. He watched us leave.
Up until that point I had held it together pretty well. But five minutes after we left I started to lose it. Everything had been so overwhelming but up until he gave me the necklace it seemed like I could deal with it. Besides, at that point I didn't know if I'd be able to see him again before we had to leave to go home. I do have an update or two left in the story. Not that it's close to ending. It's just getting started.
After showing people my necklace at work, I heard a few of them call it a father-daughter necklace. I didn't know there was such a thing... but if that is what it's really called it just makes it even more special. It means he put a lot of thought into it. Which apparently is nothing new.
That's all for now! More updates to come and my second bloggerversary is coming up. No idea if that's spelled right. But hey, I'm using Blogger so... Anyway... later peeps!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
And it keeps getting better
Yesterday I got a message from bio dad about the next meet up on Friday. We decided to meet up at a fancier restaurant... Well according to my mom it's fancy. I've never been there. But any way we're meeting up around 7pm. So I was like ok sounds good.
- and of course that's not all. It gets better.
- the next thing he said was "would you be ok meeting my mom" .... Lets just say I was in a restaurant when I got that message and I had to control myself. He wants me to meet his mom. Holy cow. My reply back did include multiple exclamation points. Lol. So we're going to dinner and then going to see his mom.
- I still haven't told my grandparents yet. I'm becoming more convinced that they won't take it well... But I'll tell them. Eventually.
- ok that's it for now! More updates to come :)
- and of course that's not all. It gets better.
- the next thing he said was "would you be ok meeting my mom" .... Lets just say I was in a restaurant when I got that message and I had to control myself. He wants me to meet his mom. Holy cow. My reply back did include multiple exclamation points. Lol. So we're going to dinner and then going to see his mom.
- I still haven't told my grandparents yet. I'm becoming more convinced that they won't take it well... But I'll tell them. Eventually.
- ok that's it for now! More updates to come :)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
So much excitement!
Greetings from Pennsylvania! I've been very busy the past few days. My cousin was married this past weekend. Very beautiful bride and of course I already added some of the groom's family to the tree. I'll do an updated post on that later.
- The biggest news of course is about yesterday. Yesterday was the first meeting with my bio dad and it went pretty well. I brought my mom with me to the restaurant around 9am. My stomach was in knots but her being there made it better. I think. I just imagine it being worse if she wasn't there lol. So he comes in and gives me a hug and then my mom a hug and we sat down and talked and ate. I mostly sat there folding and refolding my napkin. I was a little nervous. Lol. My mind was pretty much blank but my mom kept the conversation going and I chimed in a bit. We talked about work and music and hobbies and some family stuff. He's very nice and funny. We were cracking up. We brought some pictures along since he didn't have any. One was prom, another middle of college and the other was a college graduation pic. He was smiling the whole time he was looking at them. So that's good.
- he did say he told his sis he's been talking to me. Yay! Still no go with his mom though but I get that. I would like to meet her before we leave but hey I'm not gonna push anything. That could still happen. Fingers crossed lol. He asked if I/we would like to see him again before we left. My brain was like wooo! But my mouth was like yeah sure. Lol. Then... This is pretty cool... Then he asked what we were doing the rest of the day. I was like oh going to a cemetery to visit a friend. I didn't say it was to find part of his family that was there. I didn't know if that would fall under creepy research or not... But anyway he was like oh my grandparents and an aunt and uncle are buried there if you want I can show you where. Um. Guided cemetery tour? Hells yes! I didn't say that. I was more like
yeah that would be cool.
- so we followed him to the cemetery... By this time we were at the restaurant for at least three hours. They had the lunch buffet thing out for a while... We get there and kinda all split up. Then he found the... Care taker guy? Apparently he had a list and even without the list knew where everyone as buried. So he came back to me and showed me where everyone was. I was my crazy picture taking
self lol. Then the care taker was like is there anyone else? And I said my friends name and he's like oh she's over there. I'll meet you at the bottom of the hill I'm like ok. So we finish up there and walk
down. We found my friend and I guess the fresh cut grass triggered allergies or something bc my nose was running and eyes watering and such.
- after that we got ready to leave. Talked a bit more. Said we'd figure out when to meet and stuff. Hugged goodbye and everything. By then it was 1:30 or so... So about 4.5 hours. Pretty good start I think.
-Some other stuff that came up in the convo: he wasn't that surprised I guess that I contacted him. Then mom joked he prob. Didn't have a choice in meeting me cuz I woulda found him. Which... Yeah that's true. And he laughed. And I was like hey... It's not stalking it's Internet research. And he's like yeah it's not stalking unless you break into the persons house.
-another thing... It was an awkward silence moment and mom asked what he was thinking and he was
like well where do we go from here. And it was kind of like a... What ever you want whatever she (me) want kind of thing. So he's open to whatever. And obv. If he wants to meet up again...
- after we left mom was... What was she. Like dear lord how are we gonna fit this in what should we
do when should we do it over and over. And so was I. I think mine was more an excited ing and hers was anxiety. I dunno.
- last night I got a very nice message on "The Twitter" and he's looking forward to seeing me again. Also found out he was nervous... Which I figured he would be but I'm glad he said it lol. So we
agreed on Friday for the next meet up and that he would work on the details. Oh. Also asked if he
was ok with my mom being there. And he was. So yay!
So that's all for now I think. I'm sure I'll have another post for you by Friday! Later peeps!
- The biggest news of course is about yesterday. Yesterday was the first meeting with my bio dad and it went pretty well. I brought my mom with me to the restaurant around 9am. My stomach was in knots but her being there made it better. I think. I just imagine it being worse if she wasn't there lol. So he comes in and gives me a hug and then my mom a hug and we sat down and talked and ate. I mostly sat there folding and refolding my napkin. I was a little nervous. Lol. My mind was pretty much blank but my mom kept the conversation going and I chimed in a bit. We talked about work and music and hobbies and some family stuff. He's very nice and funny. We were cracking up. We brought some pictures along since he didn't have any. One was prom, another middle of college and the other was a college graduation pic. He was smiling the whole time he was looking at them. So that's good.
- he did say he told his sis he's been talking to me. Yay! Still no go with his mom though but I get that. I would like to meet her before we leave but hey I'm not gonna push anything. That could still happen. Fingers crossed lol. He asked if I/we would like to see him again before we left. My brain was like wooo! But my mouth was like yeah sure. Lol. Then... This is pretty cool... Then he asked what we were doing the rest of the day. I was like oh going to a cemetery to visit a friend. I didn't say it was to find part of his family that was there. I didn't know if that would fall under creepy research or not... But anyway he was like oh my grandparents and an aunt and uncle are buried there if you want I can show you where. Um. Guided cemetery tour? Hells yes! I didn't say that. I was more like
yeah that would be cool.
- so we followed him to the cemetery... By this time we were at the restaurant for at least three hours. They had the lunch buffet thing out for a while... We get there and kinda all split up. Then he found the... Care taker guy? Apparently he had a list and even without the list knew where everyone as buried. So he came back to me and showed me where everyone was. I was my crazy picture taking
self lol. Then the care taker was like is there anyone else? And I said my friends name and he's like oh she's over there. I'll meet you at the bottom of the hill I'm like ok. So we finish up there and walk
down. We found my friend and I guess the fresh cut grass triggered allergies or something bc my nose was running and eyes watering and such.
- after that we got ready to leave. Talked a bit more. Said we'd figure out when to meet and stuff. Hugged goodbye and everything. By then it was 1:30 or so... So about 4.5 hours. Pretty good start I think.
-Some other stuff that came up in the convo: he wasn't that surprised I guess that I contacted him. Then mom joked he prob. Didn't have a choice in meeting me cuz I woulda found him. Which... Yeah that's true. And he laughed. And I was like hey... It's not stalking it's Internet research. And he's like yeah it's not stalking unless you break into the persons house.
-another thing... It was an awkward silence moment and mom asked what he was thinking and he was
like well where do we go from here. And it was kind of like a... What ever you want whatever she (me) want kind of thing. So he's open to whatever. And obv. If he wants to meet up again...
- after we left mom was... What was she. Like dear lord how are we gonna fit this in what should we
do when should we do it over and over. And so was I. I think mine was more an excited ing and hers was anxiety. I dunno.
- last night I got a very nice message on "The Twitter" and he's looking forward to seeing me again. Also found out he was nervous... Which I figured he would be but I'm glad he said it lol. So we
agreed on Friday for the next meet up and that he would work on the details. Oh. Also asked if he
was ok with my mom being there. And he was. So yay!
So that's all for now I think. I'm sure I'll have another post for you by Friday! Later peeps!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Countdown and preparation!
Nine days! That's it. Only nine days until the flight leaves for Pennsylvania. I'm half packed of course. And since I'm going back home....I think I'll always call it home... I have to have a genealogy game plan right? And I do. For the most part.
- I'm gonna meet bio dad. That will be a nice chunk of genealogy right there. I dunno if I'll meet his mom. I'd like too. I've decided that. Plus she's the genealogy type person too and I could learn a lot of family stuff from her.
-last year I went to a bunch of cemeteries and posted on every single one. You think I woulda covered them all. Well, learning about the other half of the family tree opened up a whole nother list of cemeteries. So naturally I'm going to take my camera with me and photograph like I did before. One of the cemeteries I was planning on going to anyway. My friend passed away almost a year ago so I was going to visit her. That's a first for me.
- but of course I will keep you updated on everything. I'm excited about everything especially the meet up. I'm sure when the day comes I'm going to have multiple panic attacks and my intestines will want to send things in multiple directions. I don't know what I'll say or what we'll talk about. Or where we're even going but hey. I'll just... Go with the flow. Which is difficult since I like everything planned out in advance. Lol
That's all for now folks!
- I'm gonna meet bio dad. That will be a nice chunk of genealogy right there. I dunno if I'll meet his mom. I'd like too. I've decided that. Plus she's the genealogy type person too and I could learn a lot of family stuff from her.
-last year I went to a bunch of cemeteries and posted on every single one. You think I woulda covered them all. Well, learning about the other half of the family tree opened up a whole nother list of cemeteries. So naturally I'm going to take my camera with me and photograph like I did before. One of the cemeteries I was planning on going to anyway. My friend passed away almost a year ago so I was going to visit her. That's a first for me.
- but of course I will keep you updated on everything. I'm excited about everything especially the meet up. I'm sure when the day comes I'm going to have multiple panic attacks and my intestines will want to send things in multiple directions. I don't know what I'll say or what we'll talk about. Or where we're even going but hey. I'll just... Go with the flow. Which is difficult since I like everything planned out in advance. Lol
That's all for now folks!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Kate and Leopold
Have you ever seen the movie? A duke from the 1800s goes through time and meets Meg Ryan falls in love but has to go back to his own time?
- wouldn't that be cool!? I mean, sure I'd love a hunk with a British accent to show up and be all polite and chivalrous and romantic and crap. And dear lord the clothes he wears in that film. But anyway. Wouldn't it be awesome genealogy wise if we could go through time and observe our ancestors with a little camera? Or have a chance to talk to them.
- but I just love this movie. So that's it. No major genea news today.
- wouldn't that be cool!? I mean, sure I'd love a hunk with a British accent to show up and be all polite and chivalrous and romantic and crap. And dear lord the clothes he wears in that film. But anyway. Wouldn't it be awesome genealogy wise if we could go through time and observe our ancestors with a little camera? Or have a chance to talk to them.
- but I just love this movie. So that's it. No major genea news today.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Overwhelming number of shaking leaves
Have you ever been overwhelmed with your genealogy stuff that you don't know what to do next? I mean sure, most of the time I'm searching for more stuff. The missing links. Those times when you have hit every other brick wall and are forced to spend time working on siblings of your direct ancestor. And then boom. You're at your 15th cousin five times removed's wife's uncle's second wife's great grandfather. Usually that only happens to me on geni. Just keep adding and adding and adding....
- if you have a tree on ancestry... And I think most genea-nerds do... You know about the hints. Those shaking leaves everyone gets excited about in the commercials. There may come a time when the number of hints is... Overwhelming.
- you think that would be awesome right? So many hints how can that be bad!?!?
- lets just say that I have 9095 hints as we speak. And no I didn't make up that number. How did it happen you ask? I just kept adding to my tree. Those lovely family tree hints? Yea those are like the gateway drug or something. Before you know it you're in deep. Oh it has five siblings and the parents?! Cool! You think so. But then boom. Those 7 new people all get 2 hints each and that's 14 leaves. One hint led to 14. Hypothetically.
- think of it this way. You have 4 grandparents. Say each has the family tree hint, an in each of those you have parents and 2 siblings. 16 people. If those 16 people have a family tree hint thats 16 hints. But they should all have at least 1 census hint right? 32 hints. All of your male ancestors so far have military records? Add 6 more (minimum... You could have draft and pension records ) so we're up to 38 hints. If all of those people are dead? Add a record each for SS, Obit, and findagrave. So now we could have 86 records for 16 people! Imagine if you have thousands of people in your tree! It just gets worse from there too.
- the further back you go you have more records, for the obvious reasons of the tree growing. But back in the day people may have had 8 kids or more. Adds to the hints you get. And of course anyone can have those headstone pictures. Do you have a Revolutionary war vet? Even if they're not a direct ancestor you get the war record, a pension file, a dar or sar record. Then if you're lucky enough to get to back in the day Europe, maybe some nobility or royalty, you get those family crests and flag pictures. You know what I mean. Then there are the wicked awesome castle pictures. Before you know it you have hundreds or thousands of hints and you ask yourself how did this happen?
- in not saying I don't like the hints. They're wonderful. But what do you do at this point? Start with photo and story hints? I have less of those so it could be a start. Family tree hints? Nooo that's how we got into this mess. Just walk away from it? Sounds like a plan for now at least.
-anyone else have this problem? What do you do?
- if you have a tree on ancestry... And I think most genea-nerds do... You know about the hints. Those shaking leaves everyone gets excited about in the commercials. There may come a time when the number of hints is... Overwhelming.
- you think that would be awesome right? So many hints how can that be bad!?!?
- lets just say that I have 9095 hints as we speak. And no I didn't make up that number. How did it happen you ask? I just kept adding to my tree. Those lovely family tree hints? Yea those are like the gateway drug or something. Before you know it you're in deep. Oh it has five siblings and the parents?! Cool! You think so. But then boom. Those 7 new people all get 2 hints each and that's 14 leaves. One hint led to 14. Hypothetically.
- think of it this way. You have 4 grandparents. Say each has the family tree hint, an in each of those you have parents and 2 siblings. 16 people. If those 16 people have a family tree hint thats 16 hints. But they should all have at least 1 census hint right? 32 hints. All of your male ancestors so far have military records? Add 6 more (minimum... You could have draft and pension records ) so we're up to 38 hints. If all of those people are dead? Add a record each for SS, Obit, and findagrave. So now we could have 86 records for 16 people! Imagine if you have thousands of people in your tree! It just gets worse from there too.
- the further back you go you have more records, for the obvious reasons of the tree growing. But back in the day people may have had 8 kids or more. Adds to the hints you get. And of course anyone can have those headstone pictures. Do you have a Revolutionary war vet? Even if they're not a direct ancestor you get the war record, a pension file, a dar or sar record. Then if you're lucky enough to get to back in the day Europe, maybe some nobility or royalty, you get those family crests and flag pictures. You know what I mean. Then there are the wicked awesome castle pictures. Before you know it you have hundreds or thousands of hints and you ask yourself how did this happen?
- in not saying I don't like the hints. They're wonderful. But what do you do at this point? Start with photo and story hints? I have less of those so it could be a start. Family tree hints? Nooo that's how we got into this mess. Just walk away from it? Sounds like a plan for now at least.
-anyone else have this problem? What do you do?
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
43 days... And DNA!!
It's been a while I know. And I'm on the iPad so no paragraphs either lol.
- I told you all that I sent in my DNA results and I was expecting them 6-8 weeks after they received them. Guess who got them early! I sent them in on 7/16 and got my email results on 8/4!! Holy cow!
My results say I am 50% eastern European, 34% British isles, and 16% central European. Well, I understand eastern Europe. That's Poland. Both of my grandmas parents were polish. Found out that my dads side has a good portion of British blood. After being in this country for quite some time. Central European? That's Germany. I thought that would actually be higher. But hey. Not complaining.
- I don't completely understand the DNA matches. All the high matches I've looked at seem to have no common ancestors. Even 96% confidence matches. I do have a possible explanation. I don't know the names of any cousins on my dads side. I don't even think I have all of the ancestors siblings. And of course the only family from that side I could find is from his moms side. I only have his dads parents and that's it. (that's actually new... I found that out from him). So it's a good possibility the 96% match is from my dads side of the gene pool.
-My vacation starts in 43 days. Not that I'm counting. Can't freaking wait! Going to Pennsylvania the end of September. In addition to just being excited to get away from work and Florida heat I have another reason. I mentioned to my bio dad that I'll be coming up to pa and asked if he'd like to meet with us (did I say anything about finally telling my mom I was talking to him? Well I did and it's all good. Even offered to go with me if I wanted to meet him!) . He's been very cool with all of my questions and stuff so I'm not really sure why I was so freaked out asking if he wanted to meet up. He said yes. Very accommodating. Like hey let me know what days will be good for you I'll arrange my work schedule.
- so I'm like. Ok that's cool. I'm trying to evaluate my feelings on everything. Still. Every time I send an email or a message I kinda worry that he won't reply. I'm not sure why. I mean so far so good right? But there's that little fear of rejection in the back of my mind. I don't know what to expect and that freaks me out a bit. Not being in complete control. I don't know what I'm going to do or say when I meet him. I don't even know the exact day yet.
-I'm not angry. I know a lot of people might be? But strangely I'm not. Ok when he didn't reply for a month I was a little bit but the moment he replied and showed an interest... I mean... I don't understand that lol. I mean I don't wish things had been different. I mean how would that be? Would I really want to be a kid shuffled between two parents? Would I be in Florida now? Would i be better in math, physics, and chem if I had him to help me with that? I mean I like how I grew up. It was fine and dandy for the most part. I dunno. I dunno how I feel about everything. It's a good thing I know that but. I dunno.
- I know there are other people out there dealing with the same thing. Somewhere. Any of you have the conflicting feelings or what? No one ever comments on my blog so please do if you can relate!
- I told you all that I sent in my DNA results and I was expecting them 6-8 weeks after they received them. Guess who got them early! I sent them in on 7/16 and got my email results on 8/4!! Holy cow!
My results say I am 50% eastern European, 34% British isles, and 16% central European. Well, I understand eastern Europe. That's Poland. Both of my grandmas parents were polish. Found out that my dads side has a good portion of British blood. After being in this country for quite some time. Central European? That's Germany. I thought that would actually be higher. But hey. Not complaining.
- I don't completely understand the DNA matches. All the high matches I've looked at seem to have no common ancestors. Even 96% confidence matches. I do have a possible explanation. I don't know the names of any cousins on my dads side. I don't even think I have all of the ancestors siblings. And of course the only family from that side I could find is from his moms side. I only have his dads parents and that's it. (that's actually new... I found that out from him). So it's a good possibility the 96% match is from my dads side of the gene pool.
-My vacation starts in 43 days. Not that I'm counting. Can't freaking wait! Going to Pennsylvania the end of September. In addition to just being excited to get away from work and Florida heat I have another reason. I mentioned to my bio dad that I'll be coming up to pa and asked if he'd like to meet with us (did I say anything about finally telling my mom I was talking to him? Well I did and it's all good. Even offered to go with me if I wanted to meet him!) . He's been very cool with all of my questions and stuff so I'm not really sure why I was so freaked out asking if he wanted to meet up. He said yes. Very accommodating. Like hey let me know what days will be good for you I'll arrange my work schedule.
- so I'm like. Ok that's cool. I'm trying to evaluate my feelings on everything. Still. Every time I send an email or a message I kinda worry that he won't reply. I'm not sure why. I mean so far so good right? But there's that little fear of rejection in the back of my mind. I don't know what to expect and that freaks me out a bit. Not being in complete control. I don't know what I'm going to do or say when I meet him. I don't even know the exact day yet.
-I'm not angry. I know a lot of people might be? But strangely I'm not. Ok when he didn't reply for a month I was a little bit but the moment he replied and showed an interest... I mean... I don't understand that lol. I mean I don't wish things had been different. I mean how would that be? Would I really want to be a kid shuffled between two parents? Would I be in Florida now? Would i be better in math, physics, and chem if I had him to help me with that? I mean I like how I grew up. It was fine and dandy for the most part. I dunno. I dunno how I feel about everything. It's a good thing I know that but. I dunno.
- I know there are other people out there dealing with the same thing. Somewhere. Any of you have the conflicting feelings or what? No one ever comments on my blog so please do if you can relate!
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