Wednesday, August 15, 2012

43 days... And DNA!!

It's been a while I know.  And I'm on the iPad so no paragraphs either lol.

- I told you all that I sent in my DNA results and I was expecting them 6-8 weeks after they received them. Guess who got them early! I sent them in on 7/16 and got my email results on 8/4!!   Holy cow!

My results say I am 50% eastern European, 34% British isles, and 16% central European. Well, I understand eastern Europe. That's Poland. Both of my grandmas parents were polish. Found out that my dads side has a good portion of British blood. After being in this country for quite some time. Central European? That's Germany. I thought that would actually be higher. But hey. Not complaining.

- I don't completely understand the DNA matches. All the high matches I've looked at seem to have no common ancestors. Even 96% confidence matches. I do have a possible explanation. I don't know the names of any cousins on my dads side. I don't even think I have all of the ancestors siblings. And of course the only family from that side I could find is from his moms side. I only have his dads parents and that's it. (that's actually new... I found that out from him). So it's a good possibility the 96% match is from my dads side of the gene pool. 

-My vacation starts in 43 days. Not that I'm counting. Can't freaking wait! Going to Pennsylvania the end of September. In addition to just being excited to get away from work and Florida heat I have another reason. I mentioned to my bio dad that I'll be coming up to pa and asked if he'd like to meet with us (did I say anything about finally telling my mom I was talking to him? Well I did and it's all good. Even offered to go with me if I wanted to meet him!) . He's been very cool with all of my questions and stuff so I'm not really sure why I was so freaked out asking if he wanted to meet up. He said yes. Very accommodating. Like hey let me know what days will be good for you I'll arrange my work schedule.

- so I'm like. Ok that's cool. I'm trying to evaluate my feelings on everything. Still. Every time I send an email or a message I kinda worry that he won't reply. I'm not sure why. I mean so far so good right? But there's that little fear of rejection in the back of my mind. I don't know what to expect and that freaks me out a bit. Not being in complete control. I don't know what I'm going to do or say when I meet him. I don't even know the exact day yet.

-I'm not angry. I know a lot of people might be? But strangely I'm not. Ok when he didn't reply for a month I was a little bit but the moment he replied and showed an interest... I mean... I don't understand that lol. I mean I don't wish things had been different. I mean how would that be? Would I really want to be a kid shuffled between two parents? Would I be in Florida now? Would i be better in math, physics, and chem if I had him to help me with that? I mean I like how I grew up. It was fine and dandy for the most part. I dunno. I dunno how I feel about everything. It's a good thing I know that but. I dunno.

- I know there are other people out there dealing with the same thing. Somewhere. Any of you have the conflicting feelings or what? No one ever comments on my blog so please do if you can relate!

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